Shaving Doesn't Have To Suck: A Real-Life Comparison Of Razors By The Fairest Skinned Moose

So I'm a sensitive girl. Well, at least my SKIN is! When it comes to shaving, it can be the pits. (Armpit pun intended.)

I have spent many a buck on razors, as I always have to try the newest one! Here you will find my thoughts and feelings on each. Stock pictures stolen from the 'Net are used here, as Mr. Moose took the camera to work today. (My PINK Sony Cybershot - wonder how THAT's going over with the guys??)

1) Shick Quattro for Women.

Price: Unknown, husband bought it for me. (Awww)

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars!

Pros: The hot pink colored rubber grippy rocks my girly socks, and it left NO afterburn, even when I shaved with cheap-ass soap. With 4 blades and conditioning strips, along with a super sweet aerodynamic design (because I often consider shaving in wind tunnels...??), this razor is my favorite!

Cons: I ran out of blades. Gotta get more. *Mental Post-it*

2) Venus Embrace.

Price: Approx $10 at Wal Mart for the G2G ("Girl-2-Goddess") Starter kit...included sweet satin zip bag which is awesome for makeup, razor, 2 blades, and a small Skintimate Shave gel in Avocado.

Rating: 4 of 5 stars

Pros: Sweet colors. (Teal and lime green) 5 thin blades made for a super smooth shave! Squishy gel grip is neat-o.

Cons: The place where I naturally put my index finger when I shave is also the button to pop the damn blade off when you change it. Made for a few aggravating tub searches for the blade that was swirling around my naked ass, all the while hoping I didn't sit on it. Gay little "Shower pod" suction cup didn't stay on my shower wall.

3) Schick Silk Effects Summer Limited Edition.

The picture shown isn't the one I have, I bought a pretty bright reddish orange with flowers on it, a limited edition design. I admit it, I'm a sucker for pretty packaging. Don't judge me.

Price: Going from memory, but about $5 at Wal Mart?

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars, and that's mainly for the pretty design.

Pros: Wire-wrapped blades did OK at preventing nicks or cuts.

Cons: Again, shower holder didn't work on my lightly textured plastic tile-wanna-be wall. Gave me razor burn like no tomorrow. If you shave your lady garden, steer clear of this one for landscaping, for it's much like using a Craftsman weedwhacker down there.

4) Shick Intuition.

I remember trying this when it first came out and I thought I liked it. Either they changed it a lot since then, or my memory sucks like a Hoover.

Price: Reg. $9.99, purchased for $3.99 on clearance during week 2 of Alli's hospital stay - I figured it HAD to be better than last week's razor nightmare. (See review below)

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Pros: No need to get shaving cream or gel, it's one big block of skin-smoothing goodness. The razor is nestled right in the middle.

Cons: NOT a close shave by any stretch. I had stubble all over. Also, when shaving the lady garden, this thing is like trying to maneuver a 2x4 down there. Not very fun.

5) Bic Comfort Triple Blade - Berry Scented.

Excuse me? BERRY SCENTED? That got a big old "WTF" from me, out loud in the store. My husband was only slightly embarrassed. (You would think after over 5 years of marriage, he'd be used to it...)

I'm not sure which is worse...the scent of a new pool toy mixed with skunky wine, or the fact that SOMEONE said, "Dude, we should make a razor...THAT SMELLS LIKE FRUIT." And BAM, they're rich. I have shitty ideas every day, and I never get even halfway rich from them.

Price: $2.99 for a pack of ten at Walgreen's - purchased while Alli was in the hospital and I was broke. It was the next cheapest option above drugstore brand single blade disposables. *shudder*

Rating: Can I give negative stars?

Pros: Once you leave it in a suitcase for a few days, the "Fresh Berry Scent" is gone.

Cons: NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM SPENDING less than $3 on razors. Nothing. My legs were bleeding everywhere. Nicks here, cuts there. I was so not impressed.